I'll start the next post where I left off... Why do I hate hypocrisy? Or must I say why do I feel I hate it? What is it that I hate about hypocrisy? Why do I use that word hate so much when I hate it? I call everything around me hypocritical - the society, our customs... But then I ask myself again... Why do I think it is so wrong when it is so normal/common? Why why why???

I started thinking about this because of an orkut question - "What are your turnoffs?" Instantly I wrote - hypocrisy! That's when I began seeking answers to all the questions I posed...

Over time I've realized WHEN I hate hypocrisy. I don't like it when someone close to me behaves like a hypocrite. I prefer it when someone says "what is" on my face rather than behind my back. But I've no control over people talking... So this doesn't bother me as much as the fact that people say things without meaning them...

A friend of mine had said she believes that communication can sort out almost anything, but when we had a misunderstanding, she refused to talk it out with me!!

On a more general level, I think most of our customs/beliefs/rituals are hypocritical. One classic example would be the society's non-acceptance of 'love'. If we take any story from the hindu mythology - the most important aspect is love. (I'm not getting into further controversial details!! Don't want to hurt public sentiments!! - Fine! I accept I'm a hypocrite!!!) When I ask "Why then the hesitance?" The prompt reply is - "We're mere mortals!"

By now, probably everyone must be saying "What's the big deal about this? We don't like hypocrites as well? How different are you?"

Well, let me justify... The difference is I can't accept hypocrisy. I feel strongly about it. There've been times when I've gone overboard, like for instance I mailed that same friend with whom I had issues, blatantly telling her things were still not ok between us and I just couldn't pretend! I felt pretty stupid later. I mean I could have continued to put on an act... It was not like she was going to give a damn anyway! I didn't even receive a reply for that mail!! But deep within I felt good. Like a burden was lifted off my shoulders...

Will hypocrisy continue to bother me? Will I give in eventually? As in will I EVER befriend a hypocrite??? You never know...

I am not titling this aricle! This blog is more like a conversation...Errr with myself! But still! I just type what I feel and feel what I type! No deleting, cutting, editing - nothing! Because words once said can't be unsaid (I know, BAD joke!!) 

I don't like titles. I am never good at thinking of one! And when I do, it just doesn't match with what I've written! And when the title is catchy, I have to write just to stick to the topic!!! Know what I mean???

Okay, confession. The blank space above is there because I completely lost track of my thought. Why?? Well, I went through what I wrote... And immediately, one part of my mind said "Just write the way everybody does - properly! With a topic; a title; a beginning, a middle and an end..." And then another part of my mind said "No! Just go ahead!" I randomly chose option two! So here goes...

Ok, my thoughts are making me bored. Why? Because they are distort, and I know I'm not making any sense! I'm restless. So much is going on in my mind... Some things I feel very strongly about... I'm seeking something... What is it? Why am I bored? Restless?? Why do I feel I'm being senseless? What made me break my promise about not reading whatever I type? Why that blank space?? Do I ALWAYS say what's on my mind? Is it even possible for me to do so? I very calmly say... "I hate hypocrisy!" Am I not a hypocrite myself? Well I hate the word "hate" and I'm using it... Doesn't that make me a hypocrite? I don't like/ don't agree with so many things... I still bear it all with a smile! Am I not a hypocrite even now? I say I like genuine people - yes. But is my definition of genuine even genuine? (Whew!!!) Am I making ANY sense???

Let me be honest, I just don't like what I've written! But still I'm posting it. Why? Because I said I would! Now tell me, what's more important? What I want? Or what I said I would do???

OK! OK.... I'm out of my 'meg' mode. I know this is being read (Is it now???) So I sign off with an apt title... Who said titles should  be at the beginning always???

TITLE:

Post 1: WHAT'S ON MY MIND?!

TRUTH: That's the title for ALL my posts!! (Ha ha!)