Megz - up, close and personal

This post is proper with title and everything! But it is going to be really short. I am not used to writing about myself. The few ppl who read my blog have asked me why have you never written about yourself? Why do you call yourself megalomaniac? Why do you say arrogance is not good? Why contradict yourself?

Well, because of repeated questions and request for clarifications I have finally decided to come clean. By megalomaniac I mean my world revolves around me. I am self-centred. I am interested in improving myself. I am interested in my dreams, my aspirations, my opinions... But most of all I'm interested in learning. And learning will not come if a 'you' or 'he' or 'she' is not there in my life. But face it, we have people in our lives because we feel good. (Can I generalize) Most often we like those who like us. Right??

Now that I've deviated, let me say something that I very strongly feel. Why do people say "I did that for you!" I ask myself, is that really true? Can I really help someone or do something for someone without expecting anything in return (This is not an extension of my expectations post) Can I? Do I believe in service? In charity? In giving? Unconditionally??? NO! Purely because at the end of the day I do something for my satisfaction. I want to feel good. Let me take a simple example. They say one gets 'punya' giving water to a thirsty person. I obviously want that punya so I serve a thirsty person. Right? Or if I didn't care for things like 'punya' I would do it so that my conscience does not ask me "why didn't you give water to him when you could?" A clear (relatively) conscience is everyone's need right? Now, tell me.. Where did the he/she/you come? I can only see a big 'I' everywhere. In capital letters!!!

Whether it is my thoughts or my feelings or my opinions or my idiosyncracies.. whether it is my relationships or my workmanship or my social life... whether it is issues that make me think or events that have moved me or experiences in my life... what I read or see or hear or feel... Or most of all what I learn... EVERYTHING is about me. Now it is up to you to decide if I'm arrogant ot egoistic or an egotist!! But then again that's your opinion. I respect it. But I can do nothing about it...