Great expectations... This was a book by Charles Dickens right? I've never read it (I never liked his tragic stories!) But I can relate a lot to the title. I'm sure all of us can!

Let me start with expectations from a book or a movie. Before that I'd like to go to what builds these expectations?? It is a previous record or a bias or a preconceived notion that leads one to expect, right? Now if I really liked a book by a particular author, it would be obvious that I would expect her/his next book to be much better. That's why the seventh book in the Harry Potter series was a big disappointment. I wanted the magic to live on, but the shallow ending made me want to cringe. Probably if we readers didn't expect so much the series would have probably ended in a different way... But that's a different story altogether!

It is ok to expect from a book or a movie. It's after all someone's work and money goes into it... But is it ok to expect from someone on a personal level? More importantly, can I say that I won't expect anything from you? I have tried to follow what I call no expectation theory...

First I started thinking like an extremist. (Obviously before that I thought that I had all the right to expect, I was domineering and imposing!!!) Anyway I said to myself one fine day "No more expectation from anyone!" Stupid decision! Moreso because one can't live in relationships that way!! I mean how is my own mother supposed to know how I felt? Was she supposed to read my mind? (!!) But, stubborn and adamant that I was I continued to follow this... This meant no communicating feelings, just keeping quiet even if I was burning within (!!) But nevertheless I'd show my irritation, which could be more frustrating to others!!

After I could take that no more, I thought... How the hell was this no expectation theory helping me? I was just giving more room for miscommunication. And in the process I was feeling miserable. So I took my theory to level 2... It is ok to expect from people I'm close to. But no expectations from others... That brought me to the question: what if new people became close to me? Was I suddenly supposed to start expecting? And vice versa??? And since I believed in giving space to people, how much space was the right amount? I hate being a chipkoo, I'll never tell anyone if I feel neglected. I don't want to be called attention craving!! Or a crib pot!! At the same time I want to be frank! ...

Now my no expectation theory has reduced to this: I don't believe in one good turn deserves another. I mean I don't do something expecting anything in return! Nor do I impose my ideas on others!! Or expect others to listen to my opinion! But I do expect a connection with people I'm close to. Actually I needn't expect it, it just comes. But my over expectation from myself of not expecting from others making it difficult for others to expect to understand me is not there!!!! Confused? Oh why bother? After all I don't expect you to understand this, but if you connect to me, you will...