Saturday, July 4, 2009

When something affects someone really badly, that person doesn't even realize what's happening. Then the person changes... Completely. All the things that person was standing for changes. All the positive energy and optimism disappears. And this has been happening around me a lot recently...

Even I am affected. (I don't like that word - affected!) Recession, fear of the 'm' word, fear of making friends with anyone... All this has an effect on me. Sometimes positive sometimes negative... But will I change as a person for this? Will I stop believing in relationships altogether? I hope not...

Back to people around me... When I see people not enjoying their jobs, I wonder, "didn't the same person jump when s/he was placed during campus interview? When I see someone complaining about her/his relationship I wonder, "This person so badly wanted to get into this, now why the change in mind?" Why do people change their minds?

Why talk about 'people' let me take myself. I have so many fears. So many what if's in my mind... Especially where relationships are concerned... What if history repeats itself? What if I do something stupid and everything falls apart? What if I never get to understand why I can't be plain friends or in a normal relationship with anyone???

I have come to realize the only answer to all this, a surge of expectations... We as humans expect. I expect security, surity that nothing will change, permanence or longevity in a relationship or professional success... In other words, all positive aspects in our life, we expect it to stay forever. And sadly, when that doesn't happen, our mind starts resisting itself from feeling the impact again!

I know the solution to this as well. Believe in myself. And have faith. It's easy to say it, is it easy to follow it? I believe in myself where my professional life is concerned. I know my strengths, weaknesses... But where relationships are concerned??? Ha! (We'll leave it at that!)

An open mind will help... A lot... Let things be... Take things as it comes... But that fear of failing again in a relationship... Will it go? That, only time will tell...

1 comment:

  1. i completely agree that relationships sometimes never work at all or they stop working after some time being in it.. But according to me (disclaimer) relationships are a very fine thread which need to be maintained closely and carefully.. the thread used for flying a kite is different than the one used for stitching clothes,both solving a different purpose.. but at the end of the day its the same.. a thread.. Relationships also depend a lot on the way it is sowed in one anothers mind.. I also believe this follows the famous GIGO principle "Garbage in Garbage out" - Give in your best and expect the worst

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