Reception deception - originally in para-schizo

I think the title is enough to explain my distaste about receptions! So let's jump to the reasons. Let me first start with a disclaimer: I don't mind attending receptions, the following is from the poor groom and bride's POV. I cannot be the groom even empathetically (gender issues hehehehe) So from the POV of the abla nari bride...

As I walk into the hall, I felt like a bakri. Only one completely painted. My sari yes, silk sari, Kancheevarm silk sari was making me choke. And adding to the icing on my cake was my jewellery. The necklace, the girdle, the forehead hanging, the earring, and the thing hanging between my ear and hair. Waitaminut did I tell you I can't feel my hair. There are jasmine flowers, orange flowers, roses, all hanging... My poor head. Head se yaad aaya. Apart from a gold thing hanging on my forehead there is some strange red and white dots on both sides of my forehead threatening to get smudged since I'm sweating... eeeeee.. btw that was my smile for the entry to the dais. Hey I am not an apsara.. why the stage?? And what the hell is a throne doing there? or is it for Mr. Indra?? hehhehe. It's the most ridiculous looking throne anyway. Flash, click, click. Why am I feeling so hot? Oh yeah, this garland. Now I feel like a politician as well. Jai ho!! Only thing like an american First lady since he is wearing a suit! With a tie(!!!) Oh why?? That was a pun... For rhyming and I mean OH WHY! Anyway. I've just entered and I wish everyone would just disappear. I really don't want to know what's in those gift boxes or I don't want anymore bouquets! I feel like a bouquet myself and once more this cameraman asks me to smile I'll throw my teeth at him!!!!!! Grrrr... The only thing that's good around here is the aroma of food... But I'm going to get to eat all that after everyone finishes. I am even wondering if there'll be any icecream left! I am only thinking all this and not saying it not because I am afraid but because this damn band (costed a bomb) won't stop blowing the roof off! Anyway at least I know one thing, it's a good thing that I'm getting married only once. More so I have to bear this reception only ONCE!!