I have faced different reactions from those who talk to me when we talk regarding issues, which might have affected them personally or a general issue. Since I always tend to give myself as an example and contrary to what people think, yes I am a megalomaniac but definitely not an egotist, because no egotist would want to improve herself or have the constant need to grow! I only do that because I have lived those examples and giving any other example would make me superficial, because I would never have the entire picture! Anyway, my point is, this post goes out to all those people who have been reading my intentions wrong... This is not a justification, I don't see the need to. It is just what I want to say...
Back to the point, when we look around us we see how people love delving in tragedy. I am talking about most movies, all the nonsensical soaps on tv and most people's way of thinking... Pity is what people seem to look for. Sympathy, compassion, kindness... These words simply irritate me. Especially the pity word...
Digressing, I would like to define sensitivity. Sensitivity is that feeling that one has looking at a not-so-happy person NOT by looking at her or him as a sufferer but by perceiving her or him as a potential survivor. In simple words, NOT judging that person based on what hardships s/he may be going through but by offering a hand to the person promising you will walk with her or him through this. If that's not possible, just leave it at the first step of NOT judging!!!
Coming back to pity: The feeling which makes the sufferer be in a MIRAGE that you care. When you're just looking at her/him as a sufferer. How pathetic is that? You think crying for that person is going to help? No! Snap out of it! Sympathizing may help now. The person might feel you're being kind, but have you made an attempt to actually find out how that person is feeling? Have you put yourself in that person's place to feel how s/he is??? All you're doing my friend is satisfying yourself so that you can tell yourself later "I helped that person!"
Empathy... Empathy is the most misconceived feeling in this world. Empathy reflects optimism, unlike sympathy. When a person is down, s/he is bound to be negative, sympathizing leads to two people drowning into negative glory. This is the trend I have observed. While empathizing, one of the two is optimistic. And this person sounds encouraging and constantly is trying to boost her/his confidence. Yes, it is possible that empathy be read as 'pushing' and 'pressure', but the intentions are only to make that person see that THERE IS A SOLUTION. First to make her/him see what he wants and then encourage her or him to get there by working towards it. The point to be noted is that the person is doing EVERYTHING on her/his own. Empathizers don't just tell her/him that everything will be all right. They make her/him believe that it will. They don't show her/him any new path, they just offer to hold the torch to keep that path well lit... In simple words, they are there when you need them! That should be a great thing, right?
Integrating all the above explanations, I would like to ask you all a few questions... If you've understood what empathy is.. Then why is it that this world defends it? Why is it that the empathizer is looked at an insensitive person trying to push you? Why is the person accused of not understanding? Why is it that the mirage of sympathy (see) is more important than the action (do) of empathy? Why?
Maybe you feel empathizers will start feeling superior once they do achieve their goal of making you see what they want to... But what you don't know is, real empathizers are already on their way to learn and grow some more. They don't look at themselves as heelers. They just feel two people's paths crossed for a purpose and now that purpose is fulfilled. There is no one higher or lower. They are just the people who saw the person suffering as a person just like themselves. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Well sympathy is quick fix solution to any sufferer but the pain comes back in no time. Most of times people who are suffering like to get pampered and have immdiate relief for sometime. I would like to add there are people who give just random advice act like empathizer just to satisfy their ego.But actual empathizing process is much more deep and person have to come out own thought process or comfort level to be in person shoes who is suffering. That is why its diffcult to find genuinely empathizing people.
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